What motivates you to achieve your goals? Is it love or fear? It might be surprising to learn that fear-based motivation is quite common, but it’s not as effective as you might think. In this blog post, we’ll explore the differences between love-based and fear-based motivation, and we’ll discuss how love can be a more effective motivator in the long run.


We all know what fear-based motivation feels like. It is that whisper in our heads that tells us we have to do something—or else. Fear can be a compelling motivator, and it can be tempting to rely on it as a way to get things done. But fear-based motivation has some severe drawbacks.


Where is the fear? And how can love diffuse it? These are the questions inherent in almost all motivational challenges. By developing a deeper understanding of the fundamental relationship of love and fear and how they function in the human organism, we can begin to see where fear-based motivation comes from and how we can work to diffuse it.


Fear-based Motivation


Fear-based motivation is when you get yourself or others to do something out of fear of what will happen if you don’t do it and do it well. This might work in the short term, but it can have long-term detrimental effects on your performance, relationships, and well-being.


There are a few ways fear can be used as a motivator in fitness: fear of pain, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, and fear of the unknown. These fears can lead to anxiety and stress, which can impact your ability to focus and perform at your best.


In the short term, fear may help you push through a challenging workout or diet plan, but it can have the opposite effect in the long run. When you’re constantly stressed and anxious, your body releases cortisol, a hormone that can lead to weight gain and a weaker immune system which means you are susceptible to illnesses.


One way to cope with fear is by setting realistic goals and focusing on progress rather than perfection. 


It’s also important to take some time for yourself to relax and de-stress each day. Meditation, yoga, and deep breathing exercises can all help to calm the mind and body.


Ultimately, fear should not be the primary motivator for getting fit. Instead, focus on enjoying your workouts and finding activities you love. When you’re enjoying your fitness journey, fear will have less of a hold over you, and you’ll be able to achieve long-term success.


Love-based Motivation


On the other hand, love-based motivation is based on care, concern, and connection. Therefore, we can say that this motivation is more sustainable than fear-based motivation. 


When you’re driven by love, you want what’s best for yourself and others, and you are more motivated to achieve something for yourself whatever it takes. It’s a powerful force that can help us achieve our goals and overcome any obstacle.


Fear-based motivation may work in the short term, but it can be exhausting and stressful. The love-based reason is more enduring because it doesn’t rely on feelings of threat or danger. It’s a more positive and powerful motivator based on caring for ourselves and others.


When we’re driven by love, we’re more likely to persist in the face of challenges. We are also more likely to be happier and more satisfied with our accomplishments. So if you’re looking for a more sustainable way to pursue your fitness goals, love-based motivation may be the answer for you. With love as your driving force, you can achieve anything you set your mind to!


So, which type of motivation is better? The answer is neither one is inherently better than the other; it depends on the situation. Fear-based motivation can be effective in certain conditions, but love-based motivation is more sustainable and less likely to cause long-term damage. 


Your decision as to which type of motivation works best for you matters at the end of the day. Keep in mind that love is always a more powerful motivator than fear. So if you’re feeling stuck or struggling to stay motivated, try focusing on what you love most and let that guide you towards success.




Here are nine simple ways to help you develop love instead of fear throughout your journey:

  1. Make a commitment to yourself.

The first step to love is making a commitment to yourself. You have to be determined to reach your goals, and you have to be willing to incorporate hard work to achieve them. If you’re not fully committed, it will be tough to make progress. Remember to put goals as a motivator rather than pressure, as pressure also develops detrimental effects in the long run.


Aiming too high and not reaching your targets may result in disappointments at the end. Always start with small goals that you know you can achieve, and then gradually increase the difficulty as you progress.


  1. Find a supportive community.

It can be beneficial to find a supportive community of people who are also interested in the things you are. This can provide you with motivation, advice, and encouragement when you need it most. 


There are plenty of online forums and Facebook groups to find like-minded individuals. Or, if you prefer in-person support, try searching for local fitness classes or groups.


  1. Find an exercise routine you enjoy.

One of the essential things about sticking to a fitness routine is finding an activity that you enjoy doing. If you don’t like the exercises you’re doing, it’s going to be very difficult to stick with them for long. Go try different activities until you find one that you love, and then make sure to include it in your plan.


Take your time and explore until you pinpoint something that fits your personality and interests. Some people love going to the gym and lifting weights, while others prefer outdoor activities like hiking or running. Some enjoy participating in team sports, yoga, or taking dance classes. 


If you do an activity that you love and value, it won’t feel like a chore, and you will stick with it for the long haul. 


  1. Make time for yourself.

It is important to make time and space for yourself, even when trying to achieve a fitness goal. This means taking a break from your workouts now and then, relaxing with a favourite book or movie, and just generally taking some time for yourself. This will help you recharge your body and keep you motivated for the next round of workouts.


  1. Be patient.

Success doesn’t happen overnight, so be patient with yourself as you embark on your fitness journey. You can’t expect to achieve exceptional results without putting in the hard work first. Progress may be slow at first, but sooner or later you will see results if you stick to your plan and stay dedicated.


  1. Celebrate your successes. Reward Yourself!

Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishment along the way, no matter how small they may seem. Achieving a fitness goal feels great, so make sure to take the time to enjoy it! 


Maybe treat yourself with a new dress, book a massage, or take some time for yourself to relax and reflect on your progress. Every little accomplishment deserves recognition – after all, you’ve worked hard for it! 


  1. Seek Help

If you feel like you need help with your fitness journey, don’t be afraid to ask for advice from a friend or professional. There is absolutely no shame admitting to yourself that you need some assistance, and seeking help can only make you successful in the long run.


Not asking for help when you need it spurs fear, and we don’t want that, right? Health coaches like Rita Trotter can provide you with bespoke guides and programmes based on love rather than fear. 


  1. Stay positive.

Finally, remember to stay positive throughout your fitness journey. You are more likely to succeed on your endeavours if you keep your spirit high. Always be proud of your accomplishments, no matter how small they may be, and never give up on your goals.


Staying positive in the whole journey makes you hopeful, and hope brings out the love for what you do. 


  1. Don’t compare yourself to others.

Like fear, comparison is a killer of success and happiness. It’s important to remember that everyone is different, and there is no “right” or “wrong” way to be fit. Comparing yourself to others only leads to self-judgement and dissatisfaction. Focus on your journey, and celebrate your successes.



Work for your health and fitness goals with love instead of fear. Love yourself enough to want to be the best possible version of yourself. And most importantly, enjoy the journey! Fitness doesn’t have to be a chore – it can be something you look forward to each day.


So forget about fear – let’s focus on love! Let’s use love as our motivation to create a healthier, happier, more fulfilling life for ourselves.